June 2005

June 16th - Update from the month of APRIL! (I know, I'm bad, but it's funny!) It's called "Pigeons and Grizzlies"

Ashton Manley -- This is an excerpt from an email recieved from the afore mentioned.

Ok, here are two postings from the month of may that I wrote, but never uploaded. I'm sorry for being so slow on my postings guys!

Well this is my last day off on my current rotation. I work 12 days, then have 6 days off in case you didn't know. I'll probably be driving out to Chinook Montana later on today -- we'll see. Last time I was out there (a little more than a week ago), on Highway 2 between Havre and Kremlin, I was listening to my XM satellite radio, and Limp Bizkut's "My Generation" came on. If you don't know that song, it starts out with "Take 'em to the Matthews Bridge." One of Jacksonville's 7 bridges that span the St. Johns river. It also says a few more landmarks in Jax, and I realized....here I am, and quite possibly this is the first time that someone knows where a) Kremlin MT b) Matthews Bridge and c) Limp Bizkut has been driving on that particular section of HWY 2.

In other news last week I got an email from a prospective wireline engineer who "googled" Schlumberger Wireline Engineer and he came to my blog. He said that my descriptions of the life were helping him get a picture of the lifestyle....the dangers of the internet :)

My next 6 days off I'll be traveling to Jacksonville, and then onto Gainesville. Jenny Zichi will be coming into town from China as well -- that will be fun to catch up with her. This week is also hers, Dave Tyus, and Nick Teeling's birthday -- so give them a shout out if you know 'em.

Well here I am, once again, at Concourse A in the Denver international Airport having just had my lunch. This time I went with Pizza Hut. It’s the same 3 choices every time. Pizza Hut, KFC, Panda Express. I think I’m on an unconscious rotation. But I digress..

Let me start with the Pigeons. I have told many of you how cheap it is to live in North Dakota. I have a 2 bedroom and pay $345, utilities included. That means that my office controls the heat. And when a couple of weeks ago we got up to 70 degrees, the office didn’t adjust the heat, so it was very hot in my apt. I opened up a balcony door. Then I went on a job. By the time I got back from SE Montana it was the next day, and I slept for 5-6 hours. When I awoke I heard something from my living room. At first I thought “rat”, but I have long held the position that if anyone breaks into my place of abode, it’ll be the last abode they ever break into. So I quietly, in the span of 4-5 minutes made my way from my bedroom through the kitchen (only 15 feet away) where I grab a large butcher knife – just in case. I slowly move around the corner, “fight or flight” debate running wildly trhough my mind, prepared to die for my broken futon and 5 year old TV. I see this picture. Yes, my balcony door had shut itself, and a pigeon had got stuck in my apt. My muscles quickly relased the tension and I smiled. I was a little upset at the pigeon for giving me such a scare, so I yell at it. “What the freak are you doing?” But I didn’t get past freak, because as soon as I let a loud sound escape from me the pigeon that I did not see, but was right above my head on top of some kitchen cabinets took off into a paniced flight. I’m lucky I didn’t cut off my leg I jumped so hard. So then I just ripped into both the pigeons, which didn’t help, because one took a “fear dump” on my carpet. So I just opened back up my door and chased them around the apt till they flew back out.

But this story, especially the part of me yelling at the birds, reminded me of a time back at UF. I believe it was my senior year of Undergrad. I went to play basketball at one my “secret spots” – the indoor gym in the basement of the Health Building. The Florida Gym for the UF students out there. Well I went in and shot around – no one else was there. I got my fill and about an hour later, just at the end of dusk I leave and start walking across the street to where I parked my car. While I was walking a crazed squirl ran from nowhere right past my legs! Again I didn’t take to kindly to a small rodent giving me such a start so I looked at the squirl who ran up a tree to my eye level and started, well, “sqealling like a pig” is the only phrase that comes to mind right at me! I couldn’t believe the audacity of this animal. So I go up to it, and it doesn’t move! I started yelling (remember that I am in the parking lot with the gated arms right by the Florida Gym) at the stupid squirl, “Do you wanna piece of me? DO YOU WANNA PIECE OF ME? YOU GET OUT OF THAT TREE AND WE’LL SEE HOW BIG YOU ARE!” (Richard, do you remember that phrase? Yeah, I really need to stop using it – nothing good in my life has ever come from me using that phrase.) The squilr didn’t seem too scared so I acted like I was going to run up the tree and finally the squirl climbed further up. I finally took my eyes off the tree, a big smile on my face in my triumph, only to see across the street where I just walked from two large black student athletes frozen in their tracks. Both their moths were wide open and they were just staring at me. So I calmly give them my “coolest” head nod to say “what’s up” and slowly walk to my car feeling like the biggest idiot in the world.

Ok, onto the Grizzlies. Well I had to go to Denver this week for safety training. Oh by the way, no matter how much a man of principle you are, never disagree with the head of your safety department during a safety school. No matter how strong your point is, no matter how honest you are trying to be, never, never disagree with the head of your safety department – nothing good can come of it. But anyway I decided to stay an extra 2 days in Denver because, well, 2 days in Denver beats 2 days in Williston. Friday night I went to the Nuggets vs. Grizzlies NBA game! It was awesome hearing the starting lineup for the Grizzlies and having 2 of the starters say “From the University of Florida”. Jason Williams and Mike Miller – sweet. Too bad they lost, but it was still neat to go.

I also rented a car. This is by far the worst vehicle I have ever driven in my life. A Kia Rio. It was only $30 per day, which is awesome, but I can’t fully describe this car. You know how when you start a car you turn the engine over and after the spark plug ignites the hum drops down and then you release the key? Yeah, that doesn’t happen with this engine. It stays at that high rev indefiantly. So you pretty much guess if you have held it long enough. And the first time I pulled out in Denver traffic I nearly died. I had the thing floored and it took 5 seconds to get to 25 MPH. I think I was redlining and vibrating like a big man on a subway at 55 MPH. It was laughable. And the car only had 5600 miles on it! And of coarse I didn’t take the insurance that Enterprise offers. And of coarse on the way back to return the car a rock gets kicked up and chips my winsheild. What can you do?

Oh, and several different people will probably be very glad at the next piece of news. I broke my white frame Arnett sunglasses. I caught more grief from different people – almost exclusively girls – for wearing white sunglasses than any other fashion statement I have ever mad. So are all of you happy now? Boone doesn’t have any more white sunglasses? We all can sleep better at night. Hmm…I think that I’ll buy some nice black ones next…with flames down either side…

A kinda cool thing that happened was on the way back from the Grizzlies came guess what intersection in Downtown Denver I passed? Coulfax and Broadway! It’s quoted in Five Iron Frenzy’s song “I want to try and save the world” or something similar. That was pretty cool.

Well I’m about to start an 18 day straight marathon at work. I rearranged my schedule for a couple of trips, and to do so I have to work for 18 days straight. This is going to be pretty rough, but I’m actually pretty fortunate for having the opportunity to move my schedule like that. Peace out! Time to remember my roots and play the Nintendo games on my computer till my flight gets called.

Same story, same seat – Denver airport, finally updating my blog. I really need to be more committed to this. You see, I have many, many funny little stories that happen to me, but then I never transfer them to my website.

I just witnessed a joy of fatherhood in the men’s room here. The dad was bent over, talking to his 2-3 year old son. “What do you want to make?” I was thinking, “what, did this kids bring in some play-doh or something?” And the father asked again, “Do you want to make a pee or a poopy?”

This is yet another example of the importance of communication. I mean, this could be a big problem if you get it wrong….

Why do we always add “y” to so many words to young kids anyway? I am still trying to break my 6 year old nephew from calling me “Booney”. No Cole, my name is Boone. I want to find a way to blame this epidemic on the mothers, but they’re just such good people, how can I?

Here I am in the basement of the Denver airport (that’s where they collectively send anyone going to Montana, North Dakota, Wyoming, or South Dakota), and a University of Florida Athlete just passed me. He was decked out in Florida gear – he looked like a track athlete. Crazy….small world.

I also realized that I have not updated you guys on what books I have been reading. Now this was been an extremely busy time at work, so I haven’t done a lot. But maybe a month ago I finished Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde. A good read, but I already knew the story from Hollywood. The book really highlights the “transformation” process from one persona to the other, and how the dark side eventually takes over. I forget the philosopher or theologian that said it, but there were “two dogs fighting inside Dr. Jekyll”. One for good (Dr. Jekyll) and one for evil (Mr. Hyde). Which one wins? It depends on which one will get feed the most. Which dog am I feeding?

On a quick side note – I love how Jimmy Buffet in “Son of a Son of a Sailor” equates the professions of banking, law, and crime in the line, “So I just cruise along, always searching for songs / not a lawyer, a thief or a banker.”

Back to books. I am over half-way through John Stossel’s “Give me a Break”. He’s an anchor for 20 / 20 who does a lot of consumer reporting. It’s a very quick, good read where he presents a lot of evidence showing how increased govt regulations and rules actually hurt the causes that they are trying to help. I have been wanting to read Gulliver’s Travels for a long time now, and might jump on that next. I’m a little hesitant because I do not think it will be a “quick” read, and those books – though they have the biggest payoff for sticking to it and finishing – are the hardest to finish (two books that I put in this category are Dostoevsky's Brother’s Karamazov, and Defoe’s Robinson Crusoe)

No particular reason for writing. No "funny story". No "life changing event". Just a few moments to let you guys know what my life can be like. That was the original intention of this blog in the first place. Just to let my friends, and the few billions on the internet, know what goes on in my "day-to-day" life. But between the hassle of doing a blog myself (instead of using one of those online blog sites) and the crazy work schedule that I have it hasn't been quite the project I envisioned.

But let that not stop us now. I just saw Batman Begins with a coworker. I'm not a huge movie fan but Deepak wanted to go so how could I turn him down? Afterwards we talked about the extravagance of traditional Indian weddings -- other cultures are pretty interesting to me.

I have been "on 6 hour notice" for this job for about 40 hours now. I am grateful that I have been able to sleep and prepare a little more for this job. We are running a tool that I have never powered up before today. We got it "hot-shotted" (past tense of hot-shot -- when we pay a driver to transport this huge tool on a trailer) from Utah this week. Anyway, that is always stressful since there is no one in the shop that can show me what to do. This tool can be run a number of ways, and the way that I am to run it is called "xpert mode" because only experts in the tool should be doing it. Too bad I didn't get "novice mode" ;)

Right now I am waiting to get to my next week off, which starts on Tuesday (22nd). I'll be flying down to Jacksonville the 23rd. Spending time with family and friends (Jenny Zichi is back from China for a week!). I hope to take my nephews and nieces to the Florida Alligator farm in St. Augustine. It would be fun to threaten them with pushing them over the railing...hehheheh

In the last bit of exciting news Tim Song bought a new Subaru WRX STI this week. What a stink'n punk! That's quite a car Tim! Also, Robert "Crazy Bob" Hedgecock got a new job with Ashston Manley's company, Bank of New York in Jacksonville. Congrats Robert -- though I don't think there will be any "revealing photographs to develop like there was at Walgreens.

This is an excerpt from an actual email from Ashton, entitled, "Green highlighters and the punks who use them." It is quite humorous...so without asking I am publishing this for all the world, including his future bride, to see:

Not sure if this a dream again or not, but just in case, I keep my eyes peeled to the screen. Don't want to leave the impression of not working. Than again who really cares. I slide my green, too low and inadequate back rest, chair back a little and look over the aisle at my counterpart. If this were a dream, maybe he wouldn't be there and instead a beautiful amazonian woman would be there. As is my lot in life, she is not there. Instead, my normal FSU coworker, who's gaze also gives the appearance of work, but is actually half asleep.

I sigh, make a little groan, and reach down to my middle drawer where I keep my daily snacks. They are animal crackers this week, which is good I think to myself, because the peanuts were making me thirsty last week. The silence and low hum and many computers running is broken by the rustling of my hand fishing through the animal crackers. In a brief thought, I stare at the the three I pull out, and wonder if animal rights activists have problems eating animal crackers.

Quickly pushing that thought asside, I engage my killer instincts and plunge the first cracker into my mouth. CRUNCH. "Perhaps I should have eaten just the head, and saved the body for later". CRUNCH. "These would tast better with milk".

The crunching subsides and for the moment the gurgling in my stomach subsides. In one of many short lived productive moments I reach for the phone. My calls generally fall into one of two categories, dead people's money, or just money. In this case I am making a premeptive call to ensure the $2 billion trade going down today settles fine. I pick the phone and call my NY back office, to ensure everything is running smoothly. Goodness know's other people will be calling me for updates every five minutes.

I dial 9 to get out, than 1 for a long distance number, followed by a string of other numbers and wonder when I will accidentally dial 911. What would I say:

Hey, this is Ashton from the Jacksonville office, I am calling in regards to the Bank of America trade today for $2 billion.

After a ring or two, a woman, with a distinctly Asia Accent picks up the line by the name of Yim. Most people can't understand anyone from NY's back office, because of their accent, but to my surprise I learning to understand them well. "Hey Yim, its Ashton, how's that trade from BofA looking".

During the moments when she checks, I imagine a cute Asian girl on the other side, than I remember the previous Asian girl who was working on her desk before. Ya, she's on maternity leave. Voices can be quite deceiving. Its also funny, that I have many relationships with people whom I have seen. Maybe that's for the best.

I banter for a moment and ask how she doing, but soon get lost in her accent. I politely say goodby and return to my normal duty.

p.s. if anyone else has something they want me to publish on the web for them. Just send it over. It must only meet two criteria:

1. It must be embarrassing to you.

2. Come to think of it, it only has to meet 1 criterion

		June 2005 June 1st - Some delayed postings June 16th - Update from the month of APRIL! (I know, I'm bad, but it's funny!) It's called "Pigeons and Grizzlies" June 17th - Update from the month of May June 18th -- Finally a "non-exciting" post Ashton Manley -- This is an excerpt from an email recieved from the afore mentioned. June 1st Ok, here are two postings from the month of may that I wrote, but never uploaded. I'm sorry for being so slow on my postings guys! top June 7th Well this is my last day off on my current rotation. I work 12 days, then have 6 days off in case you didn't know. I'll probably be driving out to Chinook Montana later on today -- we'll see. Last time I was out there (a little more than a week ago), on Highway 2 between Havre and Kremlin, I was listening to my XM satellite radio, and Limp Bizkut's "My Generation" came on. If you don't know that song, it starts out with "Take 'em to the Matthews Bridge." One of Jacksonville's 7 bridges that span the St. Johns river. It also says a few more landmarks in Jax, and I realized....here I am, and quite possibly this is the first time that someone knows where a) Kremlin MT b) Matthews Bridge and c) Limp Bizkut has been driving on that particular section of HWY 2. In other news last week I got an email from a prospective wireline engineer who "googled" Schlumberger Wireline Engineer and he came to my blog. He said that my descriptions of the life were helping him get a picture of the lifestyle....the dangers of the internet :) My next 6 days off I'll be traveling to Jacksonville, and then onto Gainesville. Jenny Zichi will be coming into town from China as well -- that will be fun to catch up with her. This week is also hers, Dave Tyus, and Nick Teeling's birthday -- so give them a shout out if you know 'em. In closing I will leave you with the immortal words of Fred Durst: We don't, don't give a ** about you Till you, you give a about me And my gen-gen-eration.... top June 16th Pigeons and Grizzlies… Well here I am, once again, at Concourse A in the Denver international Airport having just had my lunch. This time I went with Pizza Hut. It’s the same 3 choices every time. Pizza Hut, KFC, Panda Express. I think I’m on an unconscious rotation. But I digress.. Let me start with the Pigeons. I have told many of you how cheap it is to live in North Dakota. I have a 2 bedroom and pay $345, utilities included. That means that my office controls the heat. And when a couple of weeks ago we got up to 70 degrees, the office didn’t adjust the heat, so it was very hot in my apt. I opened up a balcony door. Then I went on a job. By the time I got back from SE Montana it was the next day, and I slept for 5-6 hours. When I awoke I heard something from my living room. At first I thought “rat”, but I have long held the position that if anyone breaks into my place of abode, it’ll be the last abode they ever break into. So I quietly, in the span of 4-5 minutes made my way from my bedroom through the kitchen (only 15 feet away) where I grab a large butcher knife – just in case. I slowly move around the corner, “fight or flight” debate running wildly trhough my mind, prepared to die for my broken futon and 5 year old TV. I see this picture. Yes, my balcony door had shut itself, and a pigeon had got stuck in my apt. My muscles quickly relased the tension and I smiled. I was a little upset at the pigeon for giving me such a scare, so I yell at it. “What the freak are you doing?” But I didn’t get past freak, because as soon as I let a loud sound escape from me the pigeon that I did not see, but was right above my head on top of some kitchen cabinets took off into a paniced flight. I’m lucky I didn’t cut off my leg I jumped so hard. So then I just ripped into both the pigeons, which didn’t help, because one took a “fear dump” on my carpet. So I just opened back up my door and chased them around the apt till they flew back out. But this story, especially the part of me yelling at the birds, reminded me of a time back at UF. I believe it was my senior year of Undergrad. I went to play basketball at one my “secret spots” – the indoor gym in the basement of the Health Building. The Florida Gym for the UF students out there. Well I went in and shot around – no one else was there. I got my fill and about an hour later, just at the end of dusk I leave and start walking across the street to where I parked my car. While I was walking a crazed squirl ran from nowhere right past my legs! Again I didn’t take to kindly to a small rodent giving me such a start so I looked at the squirl who ran up a tree to my eye level and started, well, “sqealling like a pig” is the only phrase that comes to mind right at me! I couldn’t believe the audacity of this animal. So I go up to it, and it doesn’t move! I started yelling (remember that I am in the parking lot with the gated arms right by the Florida Gym) at the stupid squirl, “Do you wanna piece of me? DO YOU WANNA PIECE OF ME? YOU GET OUT OF THAT TREE AND WE’LL SEE HOW BIG YOU ARE!” (Richard, do you remember that phrase? Yeah, I really need to stop using it – nothing good in my life has ever come from me using that phrase.) The squilr didn’t seem too scared so I acted like I was going to run up the tree and finally the squirl climbed further up. I finally took my eyes off the tree, a big smile on my face in my triumph, only to see across the street where I just walked from two large black student athletes frozen in their tracks. Both their moths were wide open and they were just staring at me. So I calmly give them my “coolest” head nod to say “what’s up” and slowly walk to my car feeling like the biggest idiot in the world. Ok, onto the Grizzlies. Well I had to go to Denver this week for safety training. Oh by the way, no matter how much a man of principle you are, never disagree with the head of your safety department during a safety school. No matter how strong your point is, no matter how honest you are trying to be, never, never disagree with the head of your safety department – nothing good can come of it. But anyway I decided to stay an extra 2 days in Denver because, well, 2 days in Denver beats 2 days in Williston. Friday night I went to the Nuggets vs. Grizzlies NBA game! It was awesome hearing the starting lineup for the Grizzlies and having 2 of the starters say “From the University of Florida”. Jason Williams and Mike Miller – sweet. Too bad they lost, but it was still neat to go. I also rented a car. This is by far the worst vehicle I have ever driven in my life. A Kia Rio. It was only $30 per day, which is awesome, but I can’t fully describe this car. You know how when you start a car you turn the engine over and after the spark plug ignites the hum drops down and then you release the key? Yeah, that doesn’t happen with this engine. It stays at that high rev indefiantly. So you pretty much guess if you have held it long enough. And the first time I pulled out in Denver traffic I nearly died. I had the thing floored and it took 5 seconds to get to 25 MPH. I think I was redlining and vibrating like a big man on a subway at 55 MPH. It was laughable. And the car only had 5600 miles on it! And of coarse I didn’t take the insurance that Enterprise offers. And of coarse on the way back to return the car a rock gets kicked up and chips my winsheild. What can you do? Oh, and several different people will probably be very glad at the next piece of news. I broke my white frame Arnett sunglasses. I caught more grief from different people – almost exclusively girls – for wearing white sunglasses than any other fashion statement I have ever mad. So are all of you happy now? Boone doesn’t have any more white sunglasses? We all can sleep better at night. Hmm…I think that I’ll buy some nice black ones next…with flames down either side… A kinda cool thing that happened was on the way back from the Grizzlies came guess what intersection in Downtown Denver I passed? Coulfax and Broadway! It’s quoted in Five Iron Frenzy’s song “I want to try and save the world” or something similar. That was pretty cool. Well I’m about to start an 18 day straight marathon at work. I rearranged my schedule for a couple of trips, and to do so I have to work for 18 days straight. This is going to be pretty rough, but I’m actually pretty fortunate for having the opportunity to move my schedule like that. Peace out! Time to remember my roots and play the Nintendo games on my computer till my flight gets called. top June 17th With all the hope that I could beg or borrow I can’t wait, I can’t wait for tomorrow I believe the sun also rises Lighting out path, driving the darkness away… Same story, same seat – Denver airport, finally updating my blog. I really need to be more committed to this. You see, I have many, many funny little stories that happen to me, but then I never transfer them to my website. I just witnessed a joy of fatherhood in the men’s room here. The dad was bent over, talking to his 2-3 year old son. “What do you want to make?” I was thinking, “what, did this kids bring in some play-doh or something?” And the father asked again, “Do you want to make a pee or a poopy?” This is yet another example of the importance of communication. I mean, this could be a big problem if you get it wrong…. Why do we always add “y” to so many words to young kids anyway? I am still trying to break my 6 year old nephew from calling me “Booney”. No Cole, my name is Boone. I want to find a way to blame this epidemic on the mothers, but they’re just such good people, how can I? Here I am in the basement of the Denver airport (that’s where they collectively send anyone going to Montana, North Dakota, Wyoming, or South Dakota), and a University of Florida Athlete just passed me. He was decked out** in Florida gear – he looked like a track athlete. Crazy….small world. I also realized that I have not updated you guys on what books I have been reading. Now this was been an extremely busy time at work, so I haven’t done a lot. But maybe a month ago I finished Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde. A good read, but I already knew the story from Hollywood. The book really highlights the “transformation” process from one persona to the other, and how the dark side eventually takes over. I forget the philosopher or theologian that said it, but there were “two dogs fighting inside Dr. Jekyll”. One for good (Dr. Jekyll) and one for evil (Mr. Hyde). Which one wins? It depends on which one will get feed the most. Which dog am I feeding? On a quick side note – I love how Jimmy Buffet in “Son of a Son of a Sailor” equates the professions of banking, law, and crime in the line, “So I just cruise along, always searching for songs / not a lawyer, a thief or a banker.” Back to books. I am over half-way through John Stossel’s “Give me a Break”. He’s an anchor for 20 / 20 who does a lot of consumer reporting. It’s a very quick, good read where he presents a lot of evidence showing how increased govt regulations and rules actually hurt the causes that they are trying to help. I have been wanting to read Gulliver’s Travels for a long time now, and might jump on that next. I’m a little hesitant because I do not think it will be a “quick” read, and those books – though they have the biggest payoff for sticking to it and finishing – are the hardest to finish (two books that I put in this category are Dostoevsky's Brother’s Karamazov, and Defoe’s Robinson Crusoe) top June 18th No particular reason for writing. No "funny story". No "life changing event". Just a few moments to let you guys know what my life can be like. That was the original intention of this blog in the first place. Just to let my friends, and the few billions on the internet, know what goes on in my "day-to-day" life. But between the hassle of doing a blog myself (instead of using one of those online blog sites) and the crazy work schedule that I have it hasn't been quite the project I envisioned. But let that not stop us now. I just saw Batman Begins with a coworker. I'm not a huge movie fan but Deepak wanted to go so how could I turn him down? Afterwards we talked about the extravagance of traditional Indian weddings -- other cultures are pretty interesting to me. I have been "on 6 hour notice" for this job for about 40 hours now. I am grateful that I have been able to sleep and prepare a little more for this job. We are running a tool that I have never powered up before today. We got it "hot-shotted" (past tense of hot-shot -- when we pay a driver to transport this huge tool on a trailer) from Utah this week. Anyway, that is always stressful since there is no one in the shop that can show me what to do. This tool can be run a number of ways, and the way that I am to run it is called "xpert mode" because only experts in the tool should be doing it. Too bad I didn't get "novice mode" ;) Right now I am waiting to get to my next week off, which starts on Tuesday (22nd). I'll be flying down to Jacksonville the 23rd. Spending time with family and friends (Jenny Zichi is back from China for a week!). I hope to take my nephews and nieces to the Florida Alligator farm in St. Augustine. It would be fun to threaten them with pushing them over the railing...hehheheh In the last bit of exciting news Tim Song bought a new Subaru WRX STI this week. What a stink'n punk! That's quite a car Tim! Also, Robert "Crazy Bob" Hedgecock got a new job with Ashston Manley's company, Bank of New York in Jacksonville. Congrats Robert -- though I don't think there will be any "revealing photographs to develop like there was at Walgreens. top Ashton Manley version 1 This is an excerpt from an actual email from Ashton, entitled, "Green highlighters and the punks who use them." It is quite humorous...so without asking I am publishing this for all the world, including his future bride, to see: Insert from a day in the life of Trust Associate Ashton: Not sure if this a dream again or not, but just in case, I keep my eyes peeled to the screen. Don't want to leave the impression of not working. Than again who really cares. I slide my green, too low and inadequate back rest, chair back a little and look over the aisle at my counterpart. If this were a dream, maybe he wouldn't be there and instead a beautiful amazonian woman would be there. As is my lot in life, she is not there. Instead, my normal FSU coworker, who's gaze also gives the appearance of work, but is actually half asleep. I sigh, make a little groan, and reach down to my middle drawer where I keep my daily snacks. They are animal crackers this week, which is good I think to myself, because the peanuts were making me thirsty last week. The silence and low hum and many computers running is broken by the rustling of my hand fishing through the animal crackers. In a brief thought, I stare at the the three I pull out, and wonder if animal rights activists have problems eating animal crackers. Quickly pushing that thought asside, I engage my killer instincts and plunge the first cracker into my mouth. CRUNCH. "Perhaps I should have eaten just the head, and saved the body for later". CRUNCH. "These would tast better with milk". The crunching subsides and for the moment the gurgling in my stomach subsides. In one of many short lived productive moments I reach for the phone. My calls generally fall into one of two categories, dead people's money, or just money. In this case I am making a premeptive call to ensure the $2 billion trade going down today settles fine. I pick the phone and call my NY back office, to ensure everything is running smoothly. Goodness know's other people will be calling me for updates every five minutes. I dial 9 to get out, than 1 for a long distance number, followed by a string of other numbers and wonder when I will accidentally dial 911. What would I say: "911, how may we help"--- operator Hey, this is Ashton from the Jacksonville office, I am calling in regards to the Bank of America trade today for $2 billion. "Sir, this is 911 a emergency line" "Crap..." After a ring or two, a woman, with a distinctly Asia Accent picks up the line by the name of Yim. Most people can't understand anyone from NY's back office, because of their accent, but to my surprise I learning to understand them well. "Hey Yim, its Ashton, how's that trade from BofA looking". "Oh, Ashton.......Uh, hold please, I check." ... "Ashton, trade not settle yet".--- Yim "Have you put the trade on the system yet?" "I check". During the moments when she checks, I imagine a cute Asian girl on the other side, than I remember the previous Asian girl who was working on her desk before. Ya, she's on maternity leave. Voices can be quite deceiving. Its also funny, that I have many relationships with people whom I have seen. Maybe that's for the best. "Ashton, we put trade out, Bank of America not accept yet". I banter for a moment and ask how she doing, but soon get lost in her accent. I politely say goodby and return to my normal duty. ....Return next time, for the next 5 minutes of Trust Associate Ashton! p.s. if anyone else has something they want me to publish on the web for them. Just send it over. It must only meet two criteria: 1. It must be embarrassing to you. 2. Come to think of it, it only has to meet 1 criterion

06/18/05